How Do YOU Define Success?

Listening to several people talk recently about the successes and failures that they had been experiencing caused me to stop and assess the concept for a moment.  In these conversations, the concept of success was relatively definable based on some objective form.  The concept of money, wins, happiness, possessions, and/or fame are all somewhat tangible concepts that people often use to measure success.  Typically it comes in a comparison with someone else such as "more money" or "more famous" than another person.  What eluded all of these people in the conversations was the fact that each one had their own "bar" set for what is success.  The possessions of one person may seem like a failure, while the next may feel exceedingly successful in amassing the same or similar assets.  That in itself may be the reason that so many of us never seem to "achieve" or reach any level of satisfaction.  When we reach one plateau and feel rewarded or content, we either focus on another area or increase the level of our success in the same area.  For example, one that wants to become a millionaire will find a new status symbol (such as owning a business, finding a spouse, or helping disadvantaged kids) or will increase the definition of success in amassing wealth (such as having 10 Million Dollars). 

It is good to have goals, and I'm not saying we shouldn't, but since our goals don't really satisfy our desire for "more" of everything, maybe it is the path or the methodology that is actually the reward we seek.  Maybe, the meeting of the goal has less significance to our life than the effort, dedication, ethics, and passion put into reaching that goal.  The amassing of money, things, power, etc. may be a way to keep score in our lives, as many do, but is the real victory in the game of life the game itself.  OK, for those that are struggling with my concept here, let me elaborate with an example.

If you know me, you know one of my loves in life is, and always has been, basketball.  I enjoy the game - the strategy, the skill, the finesse, the contact, the force, the speed and power combined, and all that goes with this amazing game that began with a peach basket on a wall.  Another thing that you may know about me is that I'm very competitive - I don't like to lose, I don't like to make mistakes, I don't like to look bad to others or even more to myself.  I like to be "successful" every step of the way, and I'll work hard to make that happen.  So in this basketball analogy - missing a shot, being out of position, or letting someone drive by me to the basket simply frustrates me.  Each of those is a "loss" or a "failure" to me.  As I get older and slower, have less stamina, and can jump only inches for a rebound or to challenge a shot, these "failures" become more frequent.  I have to adjust my play to cover for my lack of athleticism (my mind sees what I should/could do, but my body isn't able to make it happen).  Now all of these are the realities of who I currently am, but none of them are an excuse or reason for not doing my best - sometimes by accommodating in less athletic manner, such as reading a rebound better than I did 15 years ago.  Learning about myself from each play is part of the joy of the game (I see another post coming on a spin-off of the topic here).

Although my prime for playing the game has long since departed, I still very much enjoy getting out on the court.  Not many years ago, I played among a combination of young high school athletes, a few college guys, and some of us that still thought we had "it" for some reason.  Almost everyone who played had greater skill than me, and some were quite passionate, so it was a very competitive venue for me to challenge myself.  I loved it!  Sometimes the four on the court with me won, and sometimes we lost the game to 15.  As we shot freethrows for teams, there were times, I didn't get a chance to fill the team because I missed.  The hardest part of missing that freethrow or losing the previous game was not the fact that I had failed (but I obviously did - the goal was to make the shot or win the game).  The most depressing part was that I didn't have the opportunity to play.  The ultimate goal was to keep ME on the court to enjoy playing the game.  The win was a step in that direction.  Making the freethrow to become a part of the next team was a piece of that puzzle.  Doing things right on the court contributed to the likeliness of keeping me on the court. 

With that analogy, it is easier to see (at least for me) that the ultimate goal of my few hours of open gym basketball wasn't to make a freethrow, win the game, block a shot, make 3 good passes, or any other tangible goal that we would typically set for ourselves.  The goal was to be a part of as much basketball as I could.  In doing so, I also unlocked another key piece of understanding for myself.  I could better appreciate the good play of others and recognize that they too were doing what it took to keep their playing time alive.  Although competitive, it was in a different way.  If I left it all on the court and my team lost, I could live with that much easier than I could deal with losing my opportunity to play because I fell short of doing the things that could help our team.  In other words, the means were more important than the end.

When we define success, maybe it is in those terms that we all have a little bit more to learn.  It's not the money, wins, things, fame, etc. that are the successes in life (or the failures).  True success comes from playing the game and being a contributing player in the life we lead.  Our goals in the process may change by those objective measures, but our approach to meeting those goals can be consistent.  Then, win or lose, we can determine our satisfaction with ourselves based on our own effort.

Read more »

Finding the Roses

It has been my typical effort to find something relatively intellectual or at least conversational for my posts.  After all, my purpose for blogging has been based in a desire to learn from others.  I'm clearly leaving that arena this time, and my post is much more personal and less professional.

Recently, I had the opportunity to golf with one of my children.  We have done this before, and we always have a good time.  This time, however, was exceptional.  Because neither of us is good, we play best shot typically.  Usually we use 80-90 percent of my shots.  This time, it was about 70 percent his.  Essentially, this means he out played me.  In a normal situation, that would have frustrated me as I am very competitive and do not like to do anything less than my best every time.  Although I didn't do badly, he was simply "on" for this round.  Yes, I'm happy for his success, and we scored a + 4 for nine holes...not bad for what is typically a bogey golf team.

All of that said, the key here wasn't the golf.  We simply talked and enjoyed each other as father and son, two guys on a course, or a couple of friends.  With all of the things that seem to be important to us on a daily basis, it is hard to remember to make time for the simple opportunities afforded to us in life.  I'm not saying that what we do every day isn't important because it is.  What I am saying is that we don't consciously take the time to enjoy...at least I don't...at least not enough.

Stopping to smell the roses is nothing new.  We've been told to do that time and time again.  What I personally have a tough time doing is identifying which roses are the most fragrant.

Read more »

Does This Matter?

This morning I just did a little review of my blogging stats.  The final conclusion is this:  It really doesn't matter what I do.

I'm serious about that.  It appears that occasionally people happen across my blog and take a peek.  The statistics say that happens about 10 times a day or so.  The reason I believe this to be the phenomenon is that I haven't blogged since January 24th, and the numbers aren't really changing.  At one point I thought maybe a few people were interested in some of the topics and conversations that were being held here.  Some of that may be true, but it doesn't seem like that is the overwhelming majority.

Now, that being said, I did have almost 800 hits in one month (compared to the 300 or so recently), so there may still be some interest in at least something.  There were a few good articles and events happening that were the reference, so my interest has again been stimulated.  I'm wondering if this month (April) will show any more activity if I post a couple of items.  We'll give it a shot and find out.

With about 50 posts so far on this site, some have received a few comments and some none.  Hopefully a few people have even gotten an insight, been informed on a topic, or caught a phrase that made them think about something for a moment.  That is what I hope.  I have generally tried to post things that were somewhat thought provoking and had some level of importance.  Not always, but generally.  It is my intent to keep with that concept, but I also believe it may just be flat out fun to toss in some other items along the way.

So with no guarantees, no expectations, and at least some level of genuine determination...let's see what April brings.

Read more »

Welcome to 2012

So the ball has dropped, the midnight kisses taken, the champagne toast given, and 2012 has begun.  To my east I saw a beautiful sunrise and the snow has stayed away from our Northern Iowa residence.  We have had time with family and friends, some time at the office allowed me to catch up on some (not all) outstanding items, and the Holiday Season, full of hustle, bustle, and stress has faded into the past.

All in all, a wonderful and productive few days.  Life is beautiful and things are going well...

So what?  (Insert sounds of screeching tires and crashing garbage cans here).  What can I possibly mean by, "So what?"

Seriously?!?  How in the world can I say such a thing after the near miracle of a Holiday Break filled with all of the above?  How can I think such a thing?

OK, this is what I'm thinking...satisfaction is something to be appreciated.  The good things of life should be recognized and enjoyed.  We absolutely need to do this.  Then we need to take the next step.  We are blessed, rewarded, and amazed with life on a daily basis.  In order to continue that enjoyment of life, we need to do our part as well.

Whether it is finding a better way to do something at work or making life a little better for someone else, it is our responsibility to move forward.  Kicking back and enjoying what live has given us is a temporary state of life that we get to enjoy.  Making that opportunity available to others is a constant state that enhances our own appreciation of life.

So what?  So, let's go make it happen.  Happy 2012!

Read more »

School Board Convention

This past week, the Belmond-Klemme Community School District sent a total of 6 Board members, one Business Manager, and one Superintendent to the Iowas Association of School Boards (IASB) State Convention.  First, that represents a wonderful turnout for our community.  Only one member was not able to attend, and one did have to leave early.  With all of the things that these people have on their plates on a daily basis, I want to express how much I appreciate each of them taking making the time to join their colleagues in learning, conversing, and networking.

We heard a significant amount about the workings of a school board and what the expectations and responsibilities are of this governing body.  Also included were some basic explanations of how school finance works, which is really good as it is not a typically logical system.  In addition to board governance, there were some very good sessions and speakers.  Headliners Doug Reeves and Jamie Vollmer both drove home the fact that decisions that are made nearest the student have the most effective impact.  Outside of the home, that means simply that our teachers have the most impact and our government has the least.  At all levels, we tend to think about this in terms of positive impact, but we can also have negative impact on our students as well. 

We also heard from Governor Branstad, Lieutenant Governor Reynolds, and Director of Education Glass.  All three spoke to the Educational Blueprint of which we have heard a great deal.  Although all three gave speeches during the final general session, it was in an earlier session that Director Glass fielded questions.  It was also an opportunity for me to leave a comfort zone and ultimately laugh at myself.
Essentially, we saw yet again that we need to move forward instead of sit still, waiting for something to happen.  Again we have heard that it is imperative for our schools and communities to work together and build trust and relationships on behalf of our students.  Again we have been asked to step out of line, out of the box, onto the ledge, or into the unknown.  Again we saw the direction to abolish the current system and create a new one that is not an overhaul but a new structure.  Again we heard that this can't be done without the community (either local or as a state or a nation) leading the charge.  So what will the outcome be this time around?

A opportunity clearly worth the time, effort, and expense, the IASB Annual Convention gave us the venue to share, reflect, interact, and grow as a team.  Thanks to the Belmond-Klemme School Board team for the continued effort to support the students we serve.

Read more »

The Man at the Scorebook

Yesterday I received a call that stopped me in my tracks.  After years and years of service to the Belmond and then the Belmond-Klemme School system, Doug Dana has passed away. 

If any of you are familiar at all with BK athletics and activities, you know Doug.  He's been a staple of our family long before I joined in.  Doug's attributes are many, and this isn't the place to list or discuss all of those wonderful qualities.  It is my hope, however, to express what a positive impression he has made on me in a very short time.  In doing so, please note that Doug was the first person that I really remember meeting from Belmond-Klemme.

During the 2009-2010 school year, I had the opportunity to instruct a handful of young men in the sport of basketball.  One of the trips that we made was to Belmond, Iowa and the Belmond-Klemme Jr/Sr High School Gym.  To my belief, this was the first time I had been to this complex and specifically the gym.  As the girls team prepared to take the court, some of the boys players and I roamed the student center, bought a few treats and "supper" from the concession stand, and happened to gather near the trophy displays.  As we discussed the photos and awards in the case, we tried to determine the year that the Belmond and Klemme  schools officially joined into one school, or at least one team.  While we pointed and asked each other questions, an individual shuffled up behind us and joined the conversation.  Not only did he identify the answers to our questions, he proceeded to point to teams and individuals in the pictures and relay their team and individual statistics.  In all honesty, it was my initial belief that he was making up numbers and statistics on the fly, but then he actually repeated a few of them in the list he was giving us, and I realized that he really did have all of this information in his head.  It was probably close to 15 minutes that we talked, the athletes and myself standing in awe of the statistical capability we were seeing displayed.  Then with a simple, "Well, I better get going - got a job to do," the man quietly walked away with our thanks and basic best wishes. 

A few minutes later, the team and I went in to support our girls' team, and the starting lineups began.  With a clarity and confidence, the teams were introduced and I noticed that the person doing so was the same person from the hallway.  I now knew the job he was going to do when he left us by the trophy case.  What really hit me was after the National Anthem was sung, I wholeheartedly expected to see him leave the position he had taken to introduce the teams.  Instead, I realized that this same man was also keeping the scorebook.  I'll tell you that the boys' game came down to a final shot and that it was a tornado of activity from the beginning, meaning an intense time at the scorer's table.  I didn't talk to him after the game, but I did see him pack up and leave the gym - now knowing that in all likeliness he was heading to the office to call in scores and finalize stats for the coaches.

Is there anything flat out "amazing" in all of what he did on this evening?  Outside of the impressive statistical mind and memory, probably not.  But at the time I was impressed.  Now later I am even more impressed as I think about how he did this day in day out, night after night, activity after activity, year after year.  In just one night, I personally experienced a helpful ambassador, an announcer, a statistician, and a scorekeeper that did what was needed to make that particular evening work.  More than that, to me, he made it a memorable one, and I appreciate that very much.  I've always enjoyed experiencing someone doing a job well, whatever that job may be, and Doug Dana did just that.  I'll smile when remembering a lot about Doug, and he'll always be the "Man at the Scorebook" to me.

Read more »